HOW MANY FUCKING SPIKES DO YOU NEED? If you answered zero, good. You are a person. However if you answered somewhere in the double digits, fuck you Kentrosaurus- wait– HOW DID YOU LEARN TO READ?!?
Kentrosaurus has more spikes than the futures market. Its tail is covered entirely by spikes. Oh, and its weight was distributed further forward than most quadrupeds SO IT COULD SWING ITS SPIKES FASTER. It has spikes on its shoulders! For what? Is he going to hang some clothes there? NO! They are there to gore CHILDREN. But you won’t see your local school board planning for the STATISTICAL CERTAINTY of a Kentrosaurus attack.
Spikes are Kentrosaurus’s answer to everything. Forelimbs? Spikes. Spine? Spikes. The social niceties of modern society? You better believe if Kentrosaurus ever finds itself in the 21st century, that answer is going to be spikes. KENTROSAURS DON’T EVEN WEAR CLOTHES BECAUSE THEY PREFER SPIKES. Some dinosaurs were feathered. Kentrosaurus did not get that memo. But how did such a mad obsession evolve?
I can picture it now. Some proto-thyreophor was hanging out, and a helpless common ancestor to mammals was minding its own business, trying to develop sentience. Then the thyreophor saw the end of its own tail, and its tiny brain wondered if it would be awesome to IMPALE THE POOR PROTO-RAT on its tail. It went home to its nowhere, because thyreophors are too stupid to have concepts like ‘home’, and convinced all of its genus to shun those among them with less pointy tails. Those less pointy among them died off quickly, wandering in circles near bushes where theropods would convince them to play a game of I-wonder-which-of-us-is-tastier-you-go-first. But the truly pointy among the thyreophora, the exceptionally stabby, survived and evolved over a few million years into Kentrosaurus. Thus, the desire to impale mammals was hard coded into the DNA of Kentrosaurs, and spikes were their only language. (Probably. That was mostly conjecture.)
Oh, and did I mention Kentrosaurus was the size of a pony? IT’S THE FUCKING PONY EXPRESS OF SPIKES.