As you all are aware, I spent this past week doing field work research on the Dinosaur Menace in and around Denver, Colorado. I’ve got some bad news so… I’m going to try and use the Sandwich Method here.
There is a really great place to get Phu on the 16th Street Mall. DINOSAUR EXTREMISTS ARE EVERYWHERE BUILDING TOTEMS TO THEIR FALSE THEROPOD GODS. There is a nice book shop in the City Park neighborhood.
I hope that softened the blow for you.
There seems to be a disconnect in the Colorado tourist mentality about what the dinosaur fossils they find there mean verses how they react to it. For example, they find evidence of Acrocanthosaurs patrolling Red Rock like they own the place. A sensible person would start a neighborhood watch, buy a flame thrower, and write their senator about forming an anti-Acrocanthosaur committee. A Denverite, however, is more likely to start an ice cream stand right next to the foot prints in PRIME ACROCANTHOSAURUS TERRITORY.
Denver! News flash! DINOSAUR FOOTPRINTS SUGGEST THE PRESENCE OF DINOSAURS. I am not sure how you people haven’t put that together yet.
Here’s another one. They find fossilized armor plates that seem to indicate that Stegosaurus had an armored neck. A reasonable person would go to the local gun store and upgrade all of her ammunition to armor piercing rounds. A Denverite, however, will found a bus tours company where the busses have little Stegosaurus fins. They will try to sell you fossilized dinosaur poops in little novelty cases. THAT IS NOT THE RATIONAL RESPONSE, DENVER. THE IDEA IS TO AVOID BECOMING DINOSAUR POOP.
I think it is finally time for a cautionary tale of ‘saurs. Mind the gap.
Acrocanthosaurus foot print with my hand for scale. I am a ring size men’s 7.5.
